Wet dreams and international conspiracy. And boobies.Dear Dr Dooshy,
I think i have a serious problem. Last night i had this weird dream where i was in a bubble bath and had a weird pleasant sensation coming from my lower body. i am (age deleted because i'm scared of getting silp in trouble for paedophilia again - dooshy) and have looked all over the net for help and cant ask mum or dad or anyone.
ive never really felt like it before and it was really nice. it got better and better and i wiggled around and in my dream i splashed water around everywhere. i think i was thrashing around in bed too because i woke up at the same time that the feeling reached a kind of peak and my doona was on sideways and all twisted around.
anyway i think i had a wet dream that i have seen about on movies because my thomas the tank engine pyjama bottoms were all filled up weird sticky stuff that was warm and i think it came from my doodle.
all this i can deal with. the freaky thing is just as i woke up, a woman's head appeared from the bath water and i could see her boobs. IT WAS MY MUM AND I CANT LOOK AT HER THE SAME WAY AGAIN PLEASE HELP!!!!!
(Name withheld)
You know, I was tempted not to post this young man's email. To me, this borders on some kind of paedo-parentophilic fantasy, which obviously violates all sorts of parole conditions. But I can't turn down a young man in need (that's what got me in trouble in the first place).
Now, Anthony. If your normal, average man had a dollar for everytime he had a dream about interrupting his mum making dinner, throwing the dishes off the bench and bending her over it, ripping her stretchy stirrup-pants down and pounding her cellulite-y arse until my dad busted us and punched me in the face and my blood dripped onto my mum's back and the bench and mixed with the flour she was using to bake cookies, i'd be a rich, rich man.
So it's not that big a deal. It sounds like the dream was pretty good, I know I usually wake up before I get to spooge, which is goddamn frustrating. I'd store it away in your bat-bank and in a few years, when you're in high school, you'll probably wish you could have the same sort of dreams again.
But it must be really tough popping boners everytime you see mum making your cereal, or gives you a kiss on the cheek before you head off to school. But there are positives to be taken from this experience - at least your dream wasn't about your dad.
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This is sick, people. The blogosphere just got one step lower in the scale of Ethics and Moral Values. Oh well, does anyone have pics of their moms to share?
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