So i got my eyes lasered..Yep. Life altering surgery, I had it done seven days ago. I forked out five grand, and they numbed, scraped and lasered my eyes, giving me my vision back.
If i make any spelling or grammatical errors, forgive me, as i can see two of everything. My left eye sees everything slightly blurry, and my right eye sees everything even more blurry, with the added bonus of double vision. Yes. Double vision in one eye.
During the pre-op appointments, you only hear how much your life will be changed for the better, and that you will only feel a mild discomfort for a few days after the surgery. What they don't tell you is that immediately before the surgery, they have to hold you down, clamp your eyes open and DRAW ON YOUR FUCKING EYEBALLS WITH A WHITEBOARD MARKER (no anaesthetic). They put two black dots either side of your pupilz, so the lasering machiney thing can line up your eyes with a picture it has of what your eye is meant to look like, or some shit. Anyway, fucking OW.
I have prepared a list of positives and negatives of eye laser surgery. Feel free to have a read, or just assume i'm whining about it, and skip to the porn at the end.
NEGATIVES
POSTIVES POSITIBES POSITIVES
Needless to say, the positives outweigh the negatives.
Love always, dr dooshy xxx
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Does it sound like i've acheived 20/20 vision?
Perhaps you are too retarded to know the answer to that question : No, I haven't.
But in the next week or two once my eyes heal fully i should have perfect vision.
what's stopping kids in africa forking out the cash to fly somewhere to get their eyes lasered? nothing.
they're simply too busy getting AIDS from monkeys and eating coconuts to do anything.
The kids in Africa are too busy having MORE KIDS that use up what little they get for themselves, and the cycle continues. I'd say sterilize the lot of them, but then the principle applies to every society and i don't want anyone coming near my nads with a sharp blade, unless she's dressed in leather and it's a safety razor.
As far as the eye-surgery is concerned, i'm assuming they told you that the "perfect vision" you get when your eyes heal doesn't last either - if you're myopic, like me (or were) then your eyes get worse quicker than most peoples, and after surgery they'll continue to deteriorate at the same rate, only "starting over." Also, they keep telling us that this procedure is now so safe and they have thousands of people having it done, etc... so why does it still cost so fucking much? The machinery must have been paid for at least a dozen times over by now, it's not exactly new - anyone off the street can now buy green lasers strong enough to burn holes in stuff. It'd be interesting to know what percentage of your 5 grand ends up in the surgeon's pocket. For my money i prefer to fork out $38 bucks once every 3 months or so for a one month box of one-day disposable contacts, and make them stretch by simply wearing them for about 3 days or so (which has no ill-affects, regardless of what the optometrists and manufacturers will have you believe so that they can scare you into buying more). At this rate it'll take about 33 years for me to have paid what you've paid, only i've experienced no pain, had to drive only down to the corner shop, and your eyes will have been be re-fucked by mother nature long before i get to that point and will probably need contacts or another op if you can afford it and your eyes will take it (and assuming you're not dead from that smack addiction or all the jealous husbands.)
P.S. As far as i'm aware the eye has no nerve cells and does not feel pain, so i don't know what you're crying about with the marker. You can stick a damned needle through your eyeball and all you'll feel is pressure, not pain.
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