Smelly Poon, and Hi!Good evening. I am the wise old Dr dooshy, here to help with all of your love/relationship/sex/sheep problems, no matter how sexually deviant.
Combining my years of looking at stuff on the internet with my months of relationship experience, I am the perfect, friendly, sensual, throbbing icon to lead you on your way down the soft and warm, sometimes bloody path to manhood. Even if you're female to begin with.
So, if you have any photos you want to send to me, click on my name at the top of this post. You can even send me some questions if you want.
Now, on to more important matters. A reader has sucked up the courage to come clean with his problem. Sit down, relax, take your pants off, and prepare to be enlightened.
Peg-nose writes
Dear Dr dooshy,
I've been sleeping with this chick for like 2 months now, and she has a rank poon. Even right after a shower, it is still pretty nasty. HELP PLS.
xxx
Hohoho, well well well Mr Peg-nose, I think I can smell something fishy going on here. You know, beggars can't be choosers. A rank, smelly bush in the hand is worth two in the bush. I bet there was a day, not so long ago, when you'd lie on your filthy, stained mattress, flies buzzing around your head, gazing up at the ceiling and thinking "I would give anything to have a woman, someone tall, strong, with big arms and a solid bottom. A woman who could lift me up and carry me into bed. Someone to discipline me when I'm naughty, keep me in line. A lady with a beehive hairdo, and calves like treetrunks, sensible underwear, and large shoes. Someone I could have sex and stuff with."
AND NOW YOU DO AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING. Think about others, remember how your mother, at dinner time would say "If you wet the bed again tonight, I'm not letting you drive my car for a week"? No? Well, what about "Eat your broccoli, there are kids starving in Africa". There are people out there who haven't had sex in years. So hold your breath.
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Could try that old "poontos" (mentos) trick...
Or there's the good doctor's namesake - douche with lovely smelling preparation of essential oils. Or beer, whatever takes your fancy. Oh wait, that might lead to yeast infection. Scratch the beer. My first girlfriend told me how one of her previous boyfriends drank vodka out of her pussy once - you'd think that'd be strong enough to kill off odor-creating bacteria... and it's still alcoholic!
Dear Dr DOoshy
Internet nerds keep asking for n00ds so they can jack off to them. They heard I have a great rack and want to see it. This makes me uncomfortable and is really inappropriate. What can I do to make them stop?
too-sexy-DD
Sending them the pics they request will make them go away Laura... err, i mean random hot b00bs. At least for, oh, i don't know, a good 5 minutes...
Hey you should have a place to email dr dooshy on here so people dont have to use their own email addresses and possibly have it traced back for their embarrassing questions.
i am so smart, SMRT... hang on...
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